Recently, I wandered over to Divining Women and read a post that gave me some idea of why I have been feeling so on edge lately. I was wondering why such minor things were causing such internal violent reactions. So violent that they were seeping out and affecting my reactions to everyday life challenges. Thank you Not Hannah! I was beginning to think that I was going insane!
Finally, I made the connection! I was reacting to all of the horror, rage, and frustration that has become heightened as the oil continues to GUSH into the Gulf. That, combined with the distress, fear, and deaths of all of those beloved creatures, has been gnawing away at me -- getting worse and worse each day. I find I have no patience; I am angry; I am snappy and irritable.
I knew all about the oil spill, of course, but have diligently avoided all of the imagery that is out there. Hearing about it is bad enough. If 9/11 taught me anything it was that seeing horrible images over and over again plays havoc with my psyche -- so, whenever possible I refrain from viewing such horrible sights. I remember the images from the Exxon Valdez incident all those years ago -- I don't need to see beautiful creatures in such distress again -- it was horrible enough the first time and in the years since I have actually gotten more sensitive to these kinds of things, not less. Just hearing about what is happening tears at my emotions -- I would become hysterical if I actually saw what was happening! The few images I have seen were horrific and are seared into my brain as it is.
I commend all of you who can and do view those horrible sights over and over again. I just can't do it without risking severe, debilitating depression. I will be meeting at the water on the New Moon and helping our Mother to heal from this horrible, toxic event.