Being "myself ". . .

RA gave me some very good advice awhile back . . . just be myself.


Here I was, getting all metaphysical and junk, trying to "read the signs" and figure out my "next step" and she gave me a much needed little tap on the shoulder.  Umm, HELLO!  I mean after all, here I was going on and on about who knows what and what really mattered was that, whatever was approaching (if anything), was doing so because I am who I am . . .


I especially liked the little reminder that frequently, we are not even aware of the help we provide for others . . . just by being ourselves.  I was reminded of this, first by RA and then by a lovely card I got in the mail the other day.  Not too long ago, I met two amazing people who are working hard to do some amazing good in the world.  Just the other day, I found out that their efforts are starting to achieve results.  I was absolutely thrilled to hear of their good fortune because it means that some wonderful things are going to happen for some very deserving people.


Now, recently when I had a big celebration in my life -- one of those where people ask you what they can get you as a gift to mark the occasion.  I am not really very good at answering that unless I absolutely need something and so, at first I was stumped.  There was nothing I needed except the company of the people invited to the celebration.  But, then l I had a moment of enlightenment.  This cause had become very dear to my heart and it was just in the beginning stages.  What better way to celebrate this event in my life than to have those who asked what gift to get me to take that money and donate it to this new organization!?  (Without going into too much detail, there was a strong link between what I was celebrating and what this organizations goal is -- so it made sense!)


I have no idea how much money was in the envelop I gifted to these wonderful people that night.  But, my heart swelled when I saw their faces as I took a moment and thanked all who had contributed to the contents and handed it over to them.  That alone would have been thanks enough as far as I was concerned.  But it was not to end there . . . yesterday I received the most beautiful Thank You card in the mail.  What I saw as a simple gesture -- almost a "logical" solution to a dilemma -- meant the world to them.  Apparently, my decision affected them greatly and they expressed that in their card.


All because I was being myself . . .

'Tuning In'

Sobeit over at In the Mists of Avalon uploaded a post titled Metaphor as Life where she states: As living human beings, we all have the ability to tune in to our inner guidance system and gain perspective in our present circumstances.  She then provides a list of questions we can all use to help us 'tune in' that, based on her post, look like they may originate from The Celtic Spirit by Caitlin Matthews.  So, I thought I would give it a go here . . . especially since I have begun working on my revisions (again) and am finding it very challenging.

First question: How do I describe myself in my present circumstances? What do I feel like? (For example, 'powerless, like a car with a dead battery'; unheard, like someone singing in a hail storm'; 'over-burdened, like a head of state.')  

Impotent!  As I return to this project, I find that I am running into the same difficulties.  I am, once again staring at a blinking curser . . . I see a blank space waiting to be filled.

Next question:  How would I describe my normal sense of spiritual connection? (For example, 'like receiving Morse code in a foreign language'; 'nurturing and strong, like bathing in a hot pool')

Normally, my spiritual connection feels very solid and steady -- like a large, boulder deeply imbedded in the earth.  Usually, it is a very stabilizing and grounding thing in my life.

Third question:  What is the nature of help that my spiritual allies can bring to me now? What do I need? (For example, 'space and time'; 'a beautiful and deserted beach in the sun')

Inspiration; a return of my ability to translate my thoughts and understanding into the written word; help in fulfilling the academic requirements before me.  Images that come to mind are the Hierophant and a lit lightbulb.

Final question:  How do I envisage my return to a place of clear understanding? (Draw upon the images and metaphors that you graphically describe in your earlier responses. Meditate upon the help you need right now. Let your own metaphors give you guidance and support.)

Well now, THAT would be the problem!  I have tried many techniques and none have worked.  Yet, I still keep plugging away . . .  Anyone have any thoughts?

So, what does this all tell me about my present circumstances?  Hmmm . . .  maybe some meditation on the subject is in order . . . 

What do you do when you get writer's block -- specifically "academic" writer's block.  I seem to be able to write, in general . . . except when it comes to my dissertation!

Forever Thankful . . .

As I may have mentioned, this time of year is all about getting the garden underway for the current growing season.  Fortunately for us, the growing season around here begins rather late -- we can easily have a frost as late as mid-late April.  So, usually the plan is to get all the garden prep done by the end of April so that all those lovely seedlings can be put in the ground.  But, this year has gotten away from me -- a situation that has been compounded by the planned projects for this year.

The standard landscaping in our area is the throw tons of sharp rock on the ground and scatter a few trees, grasses, and the occasional hearty bush around -- crowding the base of all these poor struggling plants with the heat retaining stone.  With the exception of a raised bed, initial landscaping of our back yard was just this kind of sterile landscaping -- more like zeroscaping, though it is represented as xeriscaping.  Okay, so in a very old school kind of way, it is xeriscaping, but contrary to the belief of many, xeriscaping can actually result in a lush, green landscape -- it does not have to be a rock garden.

So, for the past few years, we have been slowly converting our back yard into a more interesting, pleasant environment.  This year involved digging out A LOT of the rock so that the areas could be converted into something more lush.  I began quite awhile ago, and picked it up in ernest about 10 days ago.  But, working on my own and being very restricted in my activities, I was making very little headway.  Kind of like the tortoise -- slow and steady, but it was taking forever!  Until yesterday.

Just over a year ago, I had the good fortune to meet two amazing individuals.  I am sure this will not be the last time I speak of them, because they have become significant fixtures in my life.  Without them, I would still be heading out every morning to battle the rock -- digging, hauling, and gaining an ever increasing dislike for the pointy rocks/gravel that makes up so much of the landscaping.  But no!  Now the gravel digging for the year is complete and we are ready to loosen the sterile soil, enhance it with compost and mulch, and begin the fun part of gardening -- designing the new beds and putting in the new greenery.

Here is what things look like at the moment -- so that you can share the gradual development of this space along with me . . . It will be a joy to see how things gradually become full of life and lovely little creatures begin to make their homes in the newly provided environment.  Maybe I can even catch some of them on film!

Not even 1/4 of this was completed until yesterday when my lovely friends graciously spent the afternoon helping me to finish tackling this task.  Blessings to you both!

Just a little late . . .

Whew!  What a week!  I feel like I have been running in circles!  The week has only just begun and I am already beat!


First, so many of you have commented on my blog background that I must give credit where credit is due.  (Actually, I already do, but you may not be scrolling down far enough to see it.)  The blog background is actually called Blood Red Moon and was created by Olehan.  She has tons of great templates that you can use -- check her out and enjoy!


This weekend the portable green house went up and seeds were started.  So far this year, we have built a cold frame and collected materials to build a potting/garden work table.  We got our grubby little hands on some Mountain Mahogany seedings which have been strategically planted to provide more privacy once they grow.  On top of that, there are now some Golden Currant bushes on the south wall and I am hoping to use any fruit that is produced this year to make preserves.  Maybe combine it with some blueberries or blackberries, depending on how the plants do -- last year none of the berry bushes did well, but hopefully that will change this year. 


The other big garden project for this growing season is to expand the beds under the trees.  This is actually a pretty big job because the landscape put in when the house was built was pretty much rock and gravel with a few plants.  We are slowly changing that but this is year three and we will probably be digging out gravel for another 3-4 years as the garden develops.  Slowly, the sterile surroundings are being transformed into a living ecosystem . . . one that will provide our household with a wonderful bounty provided by the land.


At the moment, it is too early to be planting -- we can get a late frost well into April here -- but, the green thumb is beginning to twitch and preparations are beginning!  As things start to take shape, I will post pictures!  

Our Little Secrets

Recently, Sparrow over on eWitch posted about practical protection and shared a method she calls The Bra Barrier.  I was tickled pink to read this post because it is actually a method that I use (with a slightly different process).  Sparrow uses three stones while I usually only use one (or one of each stone needed at the time) -- on the left side, by my heart.

This started me thinking . . .

How do I shore up my body/soul when I am feeling particularly vulnerable?

First and foremost, there is my jewelry.  Just about every item I wear has some kind of significance.  Either they have been given to me by an important person in my life or they have special significance to me, personally.  Ideally, I prefer to wear many items (yes, I fulfill the stereotype -- sorry!)  But, I can very easily limit my jewelry -- though even limited, it usually exceeds 'normal' jewelry wearing quota.

In the event that I must, I will cut down the rings and bracelets, but I always wear a single necklace and my ear rings.  I must admit that there are very few instances in my life where this is necessary.  I kind of have the attitude of 'take me as I am . . . if you don't like it, lump it'.  But, I do recognize the value of breaking new people in when it comes to my little idiosyncrasies -- so sometimes the jewelry comes off for a bit.  When this happens, if I feel it is necessary, I will put stones in less observable places -- either using the Bra Barrier method or having my version of a medicine pouch that can be placed in a pocket or worn around my neck under clothing.  I have even been known to slip a little something in my sock on occasion.

Some of these techniques are very helpful if one is still firmly intrenched in their broom closet.  I am neither in the dark recesses of my closet any longer, nor am I bouncing up and down howling at the moon outside it all the time.  I guess I take each situation as it comes, deciding how much of my spiritual path to share as the need arises.  Some people in my life have intimate knowledge of my spiritual practices, others know my label but have little idea of how that plays out in my life, others make assumptions (usually incorrect), and still others have no clue.  If I do not wish to challenge those with assumptions or disrupt the status quo with those who have not clue, I usually chose more subtle decorations -- hence, the 'stealth' shielding and enhancing.  Of course, there are the times that I just use energy and attitude alone . . . but that is probably another post!